________________________________________________________________________________
A
LETTER TO MY DAUGHTER…..
Dear Eldest Daughter:
It is 8 o’clock on a cold, autumn evening and the house is quiet. I am sitting here at the kitchen table, with
my cup of coffee, in the company of Doc, the old cat. The clock keeps steady time, marking out the
seconds with a deep ticking. All is
well. All is settled.
But my sense of peace is rattled slightly by something in the air. A vague tension stirs my sense of
tranquillity. My own inner peace and the
conspiring quiet of the house, allows my senses to pick up an energy which is
seeping through the ceiling…… from your room.
Without visiting your room, I can picture you clearly. Sitting, bent over your desk. Your face lit by the desk lamp which also
drops a pool of yellow light onto the dog eared pages of your notes. Your face is tense and your forehead holds
furrows of stress as you attempt to force the information from the page into
your brain. In front of you, your notice
board is full of post-its and timetables.
Reminders of what has still to be done and highlighting deadlines which
loom menacingly in the middle distance.
I am so proud of the way you are tackling your study, albeit it in a
room which looks as if it has just been raided.
I was 18 once and I was where you are now. I can remember so well, the constant feeling
of drowning slowly in a sea of home-work and study. Like you, I was sure that my whole life path
would be determined by my Leaving Cert.
The grand finale of my school days loomed like a huge mountain which had
to be scaled alone. And I too thought
that my ability to climb this mountain would determine how the world would view
me as a person for the rest of my life.
Oh my child….. if only you could have the gift of seeing into your
future. If only you could know what it
has taken me 30 years to know. Your life
path is already determined. You, the
person you are, is already set. This
exam, once done, will fade so quickly in its importance that it will leave you
wondering if you dreamt it all up.
But I cannot tell you all this.
Not now. You have to do what you
have to do. And just now, life is
presenting you with this challenge which will consume you and your spirit for
the coming months. And this too is part
of your life path.
So I sit here at my kitchen table, decades further down the road from
you and I write you this letter. I will
not send it. No, I will date it and keep
it safe and on the last day of your exams I will give it to you. As you embrace your new found freedom and
walk proudly out of school and into the world, know that I have always known
what a wonderful human being you are.
Know that the world will not look for your exam results in order to
understand what a kind, caring, good person you are.
So as you read this, some day in June, I say congratulations to you, my daughter
– you have arrived on the other side of the mountain. And as you stride from school for the last
time, stop and look back at the building where you have been guided and
encouraged and taught for the last six years.
And behind the school, can you see the mountain. And look, already it is shrinking.
With love always
Your mother
Wonderful.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful Barbara. A letter to treasure for sure.
ReplyDeleteI am new to your blog, but glad I found you.
ReplyDeleteAnd while the exams we took or will take may play only a small part in what we eventually become (said me to teenager yesterday), I am glad of the discipline it instills as a life lesson. We may not always want to do what we have to do, but we can definitely set the scene for how we do it.
Thought provoking post. My best, HerMelness