In the recent past Ireland
has proved herself to be a dangerous place for young children, particularly those
who had connection with the Catholic Church and some of her deviant
priests. Although the said church still
seems to have a problem grasping the extent and seriousness of this issue, most
of us would agree that the country is now clearly a much safer environment in
which to bring up our children.
And yet, in the last
budget, the only senior women in the cabinet presided over the proposal to cut
lone parent benefit once their youngest child reaches 7 years of age. The rationale behind this savage cut is that
by then the child would be in school and the lone parent (usually a mother)
should be back to work.
Reality, as we know is
that not only are there no jobs but there is little or no affordable
childcare. The same minister has said
that she will not enforce this strategy if there isn’t such childcare
available... although one would then wonder why she is still insisting on a
cart before horse approach.
But I sense something
else going on in Ireland 2012.. something which I had hoped we might have gotten
rid of... and that is a cavalier attitude towards single mothers (yes I am
deliberately saying mothers) and their children.
I became a single
mother in 1987 and back then, 25 years ago, Ireland still legally called my
child ‘illegitimate’. Things have
clearly improved hugely, but I am sensing that there is still a low level judgmental
attitude towards single mothers. At the
very least they must be seen as an easy target for this bullying approach by
Government. I hope that the effective triumvirate of OPEN, Barnardos and The
National Women’s Council and their campaign ‘7 Is Too Young’ is successful in
drawing attention to this very unfair cut which ultimately will hurt children.
This undercurrent of
discrimination against single mothers was also laid bare by the recent story of
the young student in Munster who was refused a place in a secondary school because
she was pregnant. As far as I can
remember the principal said that the school did not accept “those kinds of
girls” and that his school would not “become a dumping ground for those
rejected elsewhere”. Enlightened times,
indeed. One wonders where the father of
this child was. Did his school have the
pass judgement on him before allowing him to be a student? Of course not.
But back to the
removal of the lone parent allowance when a child reaches 7 years of age which
raises another issue... and possibly an even more controversial one. Should a Government have the right to force a
parent of a primary school child out to work or should a parent (mother or father) have the right to stay at
home and parent their child if they wish?
As a stay at home
mother for ten years I feel very blessed to have been given the opportunity to
do so.. but I also feel (brace yourself – here’s the controversial bit) that
parents should be supported if they chose that one of them will stay at home to
be with their children. I am not passing
judgement on any parent’s choice. I also
worked when my eldest was young and only stopped when my youngest was
born. I have used crèches. I know all about the juggling that working
mothers have to be brilliant at. But for
me being at home with my children for ten years was the most important work I
have ever done.
Why should not all
parents have the opportunity to do likewise?
I know there will be shouting about ‘who on earth is going to pay for
that’ and yeah I don’t know.. But up to now we have all been content enough to
allow lone parents claim a state allowance and for now, to leave that alone
would be enough.
In the future, when we
rebuild this country, morally, economically and practically I hope that we may
have politicians and opinion makers who will value the work that parents who
stay at home to care for our youngest citizens do.
